While nothing will ever replace Rainey Park in the hearts and minds of NYC cyclocross, Ice Weasels, now in its 16th edition, comes pretty close. A season closer that is equal parts serious and fun, where you can either get in one final race result, or wear a costume and ride a cargo bike while grabbing handups. The essence of cyclocross packed into one very good day on a motocross course in Massachusetts.

VENUE

Ice Weasels takes place at The Wick 338, a motocross course in Southwick, Massachusetts. Their website proudly proclaims that the venue is “the world's fastest sandbox!” which you can read to mean, there is nothing a couple of cyclocross bikes can do to the course that is worse than 100 motocross bikes, so bring on the mud. There’s plenty of parking, but no indoor bathrooms (sorry!) and this year’s food will be supplied by Thai Chili. While there will be many, many generous hand-ups, make sure to bring everything else you need to spend the day in the cold.

WEATHER

The Ice Weasels Instagram has been updating us on the state of the very cold frozen ground and posting reminders of the Coldest Ice Weasels (2013). A bizarre marketing technique indeed, but the line between madness and brilliance is often thin. What we should be focusing on is the incredible news that it will snow.

Remember moisture, folks?

Perfect cyclocross weather. A+ no notes.

Wednesday night predicts 1 - 3 inches of snow, with Thursday bringing some additional moisture (this may publish after Wednesday and if it’s wrong, do not blame me, blame the meteorologists).

I dare not even predict what that does to a motocross course, but something tells me that you’ll find out if you keep following the Ice Weasels Instagram closely

So what you should bring for gear? It is finally time to whip out the hot hands and feet. If you are unfamiliar with the toe warmers, get familiar and you’re welcome. Shoe covers exist, but I’ve watched many an expensive shoe cover meet its demise in a cross race. Toe warmers are cheap and do the trick (foot warmers are too much! too hot feet!).

Because it’s been a warm season, and because many of you have potentially not had the misfortune of surviving New England winters, let me emphasize that cold in New England is a different kind of cold. A brain freezing, mind numbing, curse whatever god you believe in, cold. Do not underestimate how cold you can get standing around in a 30 degree New England winter day. Wear thermals, bring your biggest coat, your fluffiest boots, your biggest wool socks, 10 pairs of gloves. More important than racing at Ice Weasels is heckling at Ice Weasels. You cannot heckle with a frozen face and you cannot give (or take) hand ups with frozen hands.

COURSE

Have you ever ever watched motocross???? Here is a video of a motocross race at The Wick. This has absolutely nothing to do with the Ice Weasels course, I just think you should watch some motocross.

The 2024 course is still under construction, but will likely look a lot like the 2023 course (pending snow).

Cool course features:
The Gravity Cavity: a steep downhill into a steep uphill that rips.
Pump track things: last year there were two whoop sections.
There's some rideable Belgian Stairs.
There's lots of trees between the tape and lots of sand and oak leaves.

There’s also the weird log.

It is a course built lovingly and painstakingly by a guy with too many a lot of opinions about cyclocross courses, who really, really loves cyclocross (and who had The Right Opinion about Rainey Park). So yes, folks, it’s good.

VIBES

Hell ya, people, let’s talk about the vibes. The vibes are great because everyone is welcome here . . . except USAC. Traditional categories are OUT! Handups and an extremely unwise skinny over the barriers are in!

Do you like ska? Well, New England folks love ska almost as much as they love drinking iced coffee year round (honestly, both psychotic). This very New England race offers not one, but TWO opportunities to enjoy ska. Prerecorded over in ska corner, and live from the Mighty Mighty Crosstones, a band invented entirely for Ice Weasels by this guy, seen here eating a cabbage shirtless while racing a previous edition of Ice Weasels.

Am I selling the vibes yet?

There is a zero speed race! What in the world is a zero speed race, you ask? It’s performance art.

The Zerospeed race is someone dressed as a Christmas Tree taking mystery hand ups, or a guy riding a cargo bike chauffeuring a giant stuffed bear. It is also the sound of this woman screaming on the back of a cargo bike careening down the gravity cavity - not unlike how Matt Groening described love in the comic from which Ice Weasels gets its name. (Ed. Note: It is impossible to find the actual comic online and I’d scan my personal copy but I’m not trying to get us sued).

It is also this guy being a really cool dad.

Wear a costume! Ride a cargo bike! Run with a child’s titanium strider bike! Ride the child’s titanium strider bike over the skinny like Lucia did last year.

Prefer not to “race” the zerospeed? Let your creativity shine in the form of heckles, or inventing your own handup to rival the signature fireball whipped cream handup. Participation, in any and all forms, is encouraged.

Photos by Angelica Dixon, courtesy of race promoter, Colin Reuter.